Alright, let's figure what function I should jam into ya next!
Miu...I appreciate you setting aside time for me.
Hah! The world is always vying for my time! You should be grateful I'm spending it on you!
Anyway, I've been doing some thinkin' and...you don't have the ability to cry, do you?
I don't. I believe if I could cry, I'd be able to understand the concept of sadness more fully.
Well, that settles it! I'm gonna give you a full-fledged crying function!
Really!? Oh, I'm so grateful to hear that!
But instead of salt water, how about I fill your tear ducts with juice or tea?
Then I can grab a drink whenever I'm feelin' parched! Hoo-yeah! I'm a genius today!
But Miu...those wouldn't be real tears. Plus, I'm unable to consume food so I wouldn't benefit from a function like that at all.
Wh-What...? But it was such an awesome idea... Oh...d-did you...maybe want some nasty fluids to come outta your eyes instead?
Absolutely not! I would get in so much trouble if that kind of stuff came out of my eyes!
Geez, what are you being such a buzzkil for!? Or is there some other function you want?
Yes, will you hear me out?
Wait, you're serious? What sorta function did you have in mind? X-ray vision? Big O pistons?
No, actually...I'd like to be able to give optimal massages for an extended period of time. My father, Professor Idabashi, is always so focused on his research, but... Sometimes he works himself too hard, so I was hoping I could help relieve some of his stress...
In other words, a function that'll let you help him end his days on a happy note! Got it!
I-I don't know what you're getting at, but... I have a very bad feeling about this... You understand that I'm talking about normal back massages, right? Right?
Don't worry, just leave it to me! I'll give you a massage function that'll go down in history!
Hey, don't touch me! Do you touch all your classmates without their permission!?
Or do you think it's okay because I'm a robot!? Because that's robophobia, you know!
Y-You...
You're amazing!
Are you even listening to me!?
...Wait, amazing?
Yeah, you're amazing! It looks like you've got a buncha weird functions... But they're all crammed into your body! Hey, hey! How're you powered?
A-Are you...curious about me?
Hell yeah I am! You're way too interesting!
O-Oh...oh my... Th-This is the first time anyone has ever understood just how incredible I am...! If I had the ability to cry...I would be weeping twin waterfalls of joy right now!
Hey...can I take you apart? C'mon, just a little...
...Huh?
It's okay! I can put you back together! Probably!
...Huh?
And even if I can't...I'm sure I'd be able to turn you into a cool jetpack or something!
N-No, thank you! Please, don't come anywhere near me!
Ugh, what do you two obsolete models... I mean, what do you two want?
M-Meanie! Who are you calling obsolete!?
I just caught that robophobic remark on tape. I will definitely reprimand you today.
...Hm? What do you mean?
Don't play dumb! You're always so abusive toward me... But it ends today! I won't put up with it anymore!
Am I abusive to you? I forgot.
Don't copy Monotaro!
Monokuma, why do you abuse Monomi? Robot-on-robot abuse is not funny. I know you love your cubs. Why can't you show your little sister the same love?
Um...I'm not actually his little sister.
And that goes for you too, Monomi.
Huh? Me?
Don't you think you should have reported Monokuma's mistreatment much sooner?
Wait a minute, are we...in a trial right now? When did that happen?
I-I didn't mean to make this such a big deal...
Well...it's not gonna become a big deal, so don't worry about it. There's no reason to take any of this to court. It's just between you, me, and Keebo.
My my...to encounter the Supreme Overlord of Ice in such a place... For someone with as much power as you to be among common humans... What are you plotting?
...Huh?
Kehehe... To accuse me of such a thing... Is your understanding truly that shallow...? How could you—The Alpha and the Omega—not understand?
This dining hall that wears the mask of the mundane is where they work their dark arts!
Wh-What? "They"? What on earth are you talking about?
Huh? He doesn't understand? Even though he's the closest to the realm of 2D of all of us!?
A soulless vessel is easily filled with hatred. Wards are needed for the electric spirit...
Hmhm...I thought he was a lost cause, but now the sealed cyber beast bares its fangs at us.
...Wait a minute! You're giving me a backstory without my permission, aren't you!?
Without permission, you say? That is simply not true... I hear it... The voice of the electronic beast that slumbers within that steel vessel!
... This version of me...sounds awesome, actually. Do I have hidden functions and a rough past?
Oh-ho! You wish to know? Do you want to hear the backstory of the strongest robot?
Hm... You may hold the reins of your power only after you've faced yourself... You are a powerful foe, but defeating you now would be boring. I will awaken your true self.
What? Am I a villain in this backstory?
The three of you spent some time workshopping Keebo's backstory...
Having two Ultimate-level detectives in one school is like something out of a story.
I've met many teenage detectives who have made a name for themselves.
M-Many detectives!? Really?
Yes, it's not so rare. Of course, most of the other detectives are adults.
I must reevaluate my understanding of the depth and scope of the detective industry.
If it's not too much trouble, will you tell me more about detectives?
What are you planning to do with that sort of knowledge?
Well, I've only ever met two detectives—you and Shuichi. So naturally I'm curious.
Shuichi told me that he used to help with his uncle's detective firm. Did you have a similar opportunity in which you were introduced to detective work?
There's nothing I can really say about that. I was born a detective.
You mean, like how I was born a robot?
I don't know about that...
That being said...if you were born a detective, you must have been involved in many cases.
That's not true. I'm not as skilled as others who can solve multiple cases at once.
Th-There are detectives who can do that!? The detective is truly amazing!
Even among detectives, each of us have different logic, investigation styles, and specialties.
...Specialty?
There are many different specialties. Terrorism, kidnapping, gambling...even hacking.
Hm... How fascinating. I should ask Shuichi if he has a specialty. By the way, what's your specialty Kyoko?
...Homicide.
...Huh?
Are you satisfied yet?
Yes...thank you. So you're an expert on homicide... I can't even begin to imagine the things you've seen.
...Incredible. I feel like you're worlds apart from the rest of humanity.
I really don't want to hear that from a robot.
Seasonal Events[]
Sports Festival[]
Today is the sports festival and you're going to play soccer! What position will you play?
I shall try the forward position
Let's work hard and do our best to have a good match today.
Kh... My malevolent aura is shaking!? No...it is trembling with anticipation...
To cause the Supreme Overlord of Ice to feel enthusiasm... Well done, Full Metal Kicker!
...I don't know what you think I'm capable of, but I don't have any soccer-related functions.
You played a normal game of soccer!
I will mount a solid defense
I will be on defense. That is the most logical course of action I can take.
For those of us who aren't good at sports, this is all we can do.
Miu suggested that I equip a booster function for this occasion...
...I honestly do not expect anything from any of your functions.
You did your best to mount a solid defense!
Perhaps I would be a decent goalie?
What!? A robot!? Are you serious!?
Do you have a problem with that? Because I will not tolerate any robophobia.
I bet you transform and have a rocket booster leg and stuff. Isn't that unfair?
Where did you get that idea about me!? I don't have any functions like that!
You fervently explained just how average your athletic abilities really are...
School Festival[]
Today is the school festival... Many students have set up exhibits to display their research. As the Ultimate Robot, you have decided to put yourself on display! A guest has arrived at your exhibit... How will you greet them?
Feast your eyes on...the Ultimate Robot!
You're the exhibit...? Is that even possible?
Of course. As the Ultimate Robot, I house the latest technology from Professor Idabashi.
Then...doesn't that mean your creator is the amazing one, not you?
Gh... True, Professor Idabashi is indeed amazing, but he's not a high school student!
Sure, I guess...
Some students, like Sonia and Fuyuhiko, are Ultimates simply for being their natural selves.
I see... As a robot, what really matters is who you are, not what you can do.
Right. Some may say I'm surprisingly normal, or ask what it is I do, but I'm still an Ultimate!
So even a surprisingly normal Ultimate student like you has their share of worries...
You discussed your Ultimate Robot title with Hajime...
Feast your eyes on...my detailed functions!
What, really? I've been pretty curious about your functions, Keebo!
Very well, I will tell you about myself. First, my eyes have 20/13 vision.
...Oh.
Of course, I'm also equipped with many functions as well. A blow dryer, a music player, image and audio recording functions, and even a light.
Um...sorry. I can't really tell if that's impressive or not.
Gh...I see. I don't mind, though. I'm used to people saying that about me.
Aw, don't be sad...
Oh, I know! Do you know how to swim? I'm sure you'd be great at swimmi—
...
Huh? Hey, Keebo?
I...am not buoyant enough to swim. I sink like a stone.
I see... Sorry, I can't really help you with that...
It seems you've made Aoi uncomfortable...
Feast your eyes on...me!
...
What is it? Are you not impressed?
Figures... I'm often told that I'm surprisingly normal for a robot...
On the contrary, I've already evaluated you.
Hm?
Your identity as the Ultimate Robot cannot be imitated. You are truly one of a kind.
R-Really? Such high praise makes me feel somewhat...bashful.
Hm... You're the one who arranged this exhibit for everyone to marvel at you. You're proud to be yourself, right? Then stand tall and hold your head high.
...Thank you. If you'd like, I could tell you many more things about myself.
...Byakuya listened while you told him about everything that makes you an amazing robot!
Winter[]
Your last winter at the academy... The Monokubs have suggested that you all clean the school. Where will you clean first?
I'll have my body cleaned first
All done. I bet your body feels much better now that I've given it a good cleaning, huh?
Yes, thank you. I feel quite refreshed now. You are definitely my go-to person for maintenance. Thank you for taking such good care of me...these past three years.
Hah-hahaha! Damn right! It's about time you showed me some appreciation!
I do appreciate you. That's why I'm sad I won't be able to ask you for your services anymore.
Huh? Why the hell not? You sayin' there's someone out there better than me!?
N-No, that's not it... It's just...we're all graduating soon.
Fuck graduation! Are you sayin' you don't want me to service you anymore!?
I mean...I would love it if someone as skilled as you could perform maintenance on me.
Then why don't you move in with me!?
...Really?
I mean, I'll help you, but I'm not gonna bust my ass comin' to you to do it, y'know?
Yes, of course. I am the one who requires your services, after all.
Good! If I'm gettin' my hands dirty, then you gotta make damn sure you know your place!
Then...is it alright of me to ask you to continue servicing me?
You think I'd reject you? I'm the one who likes to be toyed with and rejected, after all!
Miu... Thank you so much. I look forward to your care and service in the years to come.
Y-Yeah, thanks...I'm lookin' forward to it, too.
...Looks like you have a bright future full of top-notch maintenance waiting for you!
I'll start with the gym since it's so big
Yes, I have finished cleaning.
We finished this task very fast, thanks to you... There was hardly anything for me to do.
You were very helpful lighting up the dark areas for me to clean.
Th-That's right! I was helpful, wasn't I!? My functions were useful, weren't they!?
...
Keebo...there is no need to be sad. Like I said, you were very helpful to me.
I'm sorry... It's just that I sometimes feel self-conscious when I'm around you.
Hm...how so? Please tell me.
As a robot, I have no way to increase my strength on my own. I require outside help to expand my functions and keep my body maintained.
So I tend to feel a little self-conscious around others who can actually train their bodies.
I see... It's impossible for you to train your body... But...look at it this way—generally speaking, people are strong and weak in different areas.
Different areas...?
Everyone has a flaw. There is always something people cannot do, no matter how hard they try. But...I do not think you should be ashamed of that. With your body, the difference between you and others may feel more pronounced, but...
I'm sorry... Have I hurt your feelings? Being sensitive toward others is a weak area of mine.
N-No...actually, I'm quite touched. Very few people are so direct and sincere with me.
You're right... I should not focus so much on what makes me different from others. There may be things I cannot do...but there are also things that only I can do.
Yes, exactly. Even if you can't train your body, you can learn to do many things from experience.
That's very true, Sakura. I will continue to improve myself on my own terms. Your years of training lend a lot of weight to your words... I could learn much from you.
...Thanks to Sakura, you feel much more positive overall!
Maybe I'll help clean the classroom
Phew... We somehow managed to finish cleaning.
It feels good to clean it up. I've become attached to this classroom.
I can't believe how fast the last three years have gone by.
Hey...how were the past three years for you, Keebo?
For me? Let's see... Mostly good, though I think combating casual robophobia will still be a daily struggle for me...
But overall, these last three years were quite wonderful. It's appropriate that our time at Hope's Peak Academy was so full of hope itself.
I see... Yeah, I feel the same. I wish we could've stayed here a bit longer.
Don't you want to have more fun...with everybody?
Yes...but even after we graduate, we should still be able to keep in touch. Whether we want to get together and talk, or if one of us needs our help... No matter what, I'm certain we'll see each other again when the opportunity presents itself.
It's plain to see you're right. Even if we graduate...it's not the end.
You're right. We were quite an excellent class.
Appearances in Seasonal Events for Other Characters[]
Today is the summer sports festival! Toko finished her events as fast as she could to go see Master in action, but...
*achoo!*
Oh my, how lucky! Now you must burn Master's sweaty, youthful body into your eyes! But you don't know which event Master will be in... Where could Master be?
Master would gracefully shoot a soccer goal!
Master Byakuya's long legs are suited for stepping on faces and balls!
Oh, curse my girlish heart! Woe is me! If only I were some unfeeling robot!
What are you even talking about? Is this some new form of robophobia you've invented?
Since you came all this way, you enjoyed the rare sight of a robot struggling to play soccer!
Today is the sports festival... It's a boring event, but Usami forced you to participate. To get her to leave you alone, you decide to participate in just one event. Which will it be?
I will choose soccer
Huh? Are you my opponent?
Oh dear... It'd be great if someone would tell me what to do in this situation...
You speak highly of your various functions...yet when troubled, you rely on others.
Grgh! You say such hurtful things as if it's the obvious truth...
Robots have feelings too, you know! I won't stand for insults! Not even from you, Izuru!
Are you going to look away from the truth? Are you going to rely on your uniqueness as a robot to hide how unremarkable you truly are?
N-No...I just think you should be polite. There are things you just don't say to other people, even if it is the truth. Even I know that and I'm a robot, so you should be able to understand. Or do you think your relationships don't matter? Because...that would be a boring thing to say.
...You're saying boring things yourself.
Alright Izuru, let's start our match. Though you might win... I'll show you that you cannot achieve victory nor demonstrate your talents just by yourself!
Your last winter at the academy... You spent time at a Christmas party with your friends. You're done cleaning up the party and it's time to go home... What do you do?
Maybe I'll take a walk first
Oh, Kazuichi... Your class's Christmas party was today, right?
Yeah, it just ended right now. Hehe...it got pretty rowdy. The food was great, too!
I see... I must admit, I'm a little jealous. It would be nice if our class did the same...
Then...why don't you plan something and invite everyone in your class?
Hm? Me...? If I planned a party, it is difficult for me to calculate whether everyone would attend...
What, are you worried about the fact that you're a robot or something?
I'd like to say "no," but doing so will lead to a question that I'd have trouble answering!
Hmm...so you're worried about being popular, then? You think about that kinda stuff too, huh?
Well, just try inviting them anyway! If you're worried, just get one person to agree and have them invite everyone!
I see... Perhaps I will enlist Kirumi to help me gather people, then.
Thank you, Kazuichi. I will begin planning this party right away!
Alright, good luck!
You gave Keebo advice, though you did nothing for your own party...but he seemed happy!
Your last winter at the academy... Graduation will be here before you know it. You have a few months left on this campus... Why not walk around while you still have the chance?
Maybe I'll find someone in the classroom
Oh, Kee-boy...what are you doing here? Did ya run out of battery, and now you can't move?
Of course not! And don't mock my state-of-the-art energy efficiency!
It just dawned on me that I have only a few months left in this classroom... So I thought I'd use this opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of sentimental emotion.
So you're relieved to be rid of these people! Your heart is colder than your steel plates!
Well, I guess a robot doesn't have a heart to begin with.
Kokichi...you have no intention of ever re-examining your robophobic views, do you?
If that weren't bad enough already...you're always lying and teasing people, too... Do you think that's acceptable behavior from a student of Hope's Peak Academy!?
Hold on there! You're not a person, so you can't accuse me of teasing people!
Krgh...! I refuse to be baited into allowing you to change the subject...!
Geez, you're persistent. Okay, I'll answer seriously since you insist... As you know, I'm the Ultimate Supreme Leader. Everything I do is according to my talent. Even Hope's Peak Academy acknowledges it.
So...you intend to remain this way for the rest of your life. You're never going to open up to others and tell them how you really feel.
Even if I did tell you how I really feel...would you believe a liar like me?
...No. Unless it's something very serious, I doubt I'll ever believe a word you say. Then...perhaps I will re-examine my view of you.
Hm?
Though I can't trust your words...I do trust the three years we spent together as classmates. So the truth I choose to remember is that we have been—and always shall be—friends.
Hm...so it doesn't really matter what I say? You're pretty wise for a robot.
Krgh... I never said I would ever excuse your robophobia, though!
Today is the school festival... You're in charge of the reception desk for the haunted house! Instead of sitting around waiting for guests...why not try to approach passing students?
I don't know if a robot will enjoy it, but...
What the—!? Casual robophobia!?
Phobia!? I didn't mean it like that at all!
Uhhh...I just didn't know if robots got scared at haunted house...I'm sorry...
Hey, please don't cry! You're making me feel bad for making you feel sorry! I don't scare very easily...but I'm sure I'll enjoy this attraction purely on its own merits.
I see... So you'll go in?
Um, well...I'm actually in a hurry since I have a prior engagement...
Uuuuuh! Not only did I discriminate against you, I stopped you when you were in a hurry... H-How can you forgive me!? I'll do anything so...please forgive me!
P-Please calm down! I'm not mad, honest!
You failed miserably at advertising, but Keebo forgave you...
Your last winter at the academy... and today is Christmas Eve! Upon realizing what day it is, you've been struck by a flash of inspiration!
I gotta give Keebo a major Christmas upgrade!
Why hello there, Keebo! Glad you came! I got a special gift for ya!
Um... I came here thinking you were planning to perform maintenance on me...
Oh, I'll perform maintenance..but I'm mainly gonna give you a major Christmas upgrade!
M-Major Christmas upgrade!? You mean, like a new incredible function...?
Yeah! I'm gonna upgrade your light function so your whole body will light up now!
...What.
But wait, there's more! You'll also be able to change the color of your light at will! Now you won't need a laser pen when you go to Sayaka's Christmas concert tomorrow!
Th-That function sounds a little, uh...
Sounds a little what!? Are you sayin' you don't like it!?
Well...I always look forward to receiving new functions from you. I think...that you bring out a side of me that I cannot calculate on my own.
Huh? You...get that excited about them?
But...this upgrade sounds derivative and unoriginal. It's a bit of a letdown, honestly...
Those ideas are beneath you. I know you can come up with something better. So...please excuse me for today.
Oh...w-wait...
I understand what you're getting at, but even so...you still need maintenance, right? Since you've come all this way...I'll make sure you leave feeling good. Lay down.
W-Well...if it's just maintenance...
...You performed VERY thorough maintenance on Keebo!
Your last winter at the academy... Graduation will be here before you know it. Let's take care of as much unfinished business as possible! What will you do?
I wonder if I can modify my appearance...
Keebo, you've been visiting Miu for regular maintenance and additional functions, right?
Yes.
This flashlight function, for example, is just one function I had Miu install!
Gwahhh!!! B-Bright light!
Pretty amazing function, don't you think?
T-Typical Miu... Modifying a robot she didn't even invent in the first place. Do you think she could modify me, too? As a sort of graduation makeover...?
You want to change yourself?
Not really... In fact, I wanna go back to the way I was supposed to be!
I'm really self-conscious about this look... I'm supposed to be Magical Miracle Girl ★ Usami.
O-Oh...
But...to be honest, I'm a little nervous to entrust my body to Miu. Uh... It's not that I don't trust a student or anything...
No, I get it... But she's surprisingly gentle and her invention skills are top notch. Although sometimes...her taste can be a little questionable.
Th-That's what I'm most worried about! I wouldn't want a weird function, or an even more embarrassing new appearance!
You thoroughly discussed the pros and cons of asking Miu to modify you...
Today is the school festival... You decided to hold an exhibit to sell your novels. You thought no one understood literature, but surprise! You have a guest! It's...
I never expected a robot to visit...
...Is a robot not capable of enjoying literature?
...Can a robot *read* literature?
This is robophobia! I can read books as easily as I can communicate with you now!
There's a difference between reading it and really understanding it, though.
So you won't budge on your robophobia, huh? Then I will read your book and write a review, to prove I'm capable of understanding literature.
I d-don't care about your little crisis or whatever...but I wouldn't mind a review.
Just you wait, I'll write a review that will make your heart stir!
Keebo, who was fired up with passion, bought a novel!
Today is the summer sports festival... You're going to do your best for an introvert! The other events seem to be still in progress... Maybe you should cheer for them?
Stand up! If you love footb—...er, soccer
Oh, good. It looks like I'm in time for the second half of the match.
Tsumugi, did you come to cheer for us?
Yeah. I'm going to plainly cheer, so do your best.
Yes. My sports abilities may be plain for a robot... But I will do the best I can. So please, cheer for me.
I think it's pretty amazing a robot can play soccer with humans...oh, but is that robophobia?
Yes it is. I would like to correct your misgivings, but...
...*sigh*
What's wrong? It seems like you're tired, but...
Many people seem to be under the impression that I have amazing soccer functions...
Aaah...and you don't have any functions like that, right?
Even I am beginning to think I should have had a soccer function installed...
