is an intermission that happens at the end of a day. It usually is hosted by
| Monokuma Theater 1
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| In any school, Mr. Monokuma would be a kind teacher. But when I think about what's coming up...
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| ...I'm just so full of pride and joy.
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| Our ceremony earlier today was absolutely splendid. Thank you all very much.
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| Remember that you're all students of Hope's Peak Academy, and strive to refine your ideals.
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| I swear to you, I will send you all off into a new tomorrow!
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| Monokuma Theater 2
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| Ahem, so...I'm sure you've noticed the killing game has begun, but...
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| ...there's still room for a little laughter.
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| It seems our newest students, already so filled with despair, still have some hope of escape!
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| Puhuhu... So when will it begin?
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| When will their hope begin to die?
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| Is it time yet? Is it time!?
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| Heartpounding excitement!
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| Monokuma Theater 3
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| I need an immediate, fast-acting pick-me-up!
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| If it doesn't act now, it's the same thing as giving in to regret.
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| What do you think guides the word? Speed, of course!
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| That's why Formula One drivers are so popular!
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| An idiot can accomplish something if they take it slow.
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| Even a human piece of excrement could create a masterpiece if they spent their entire life on it!
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| Someone who does things in a timely fashion is both wise and admirable.
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| Straight is better than a curve or an angle. Freestyle is better than the backstroke or breaststroke!
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| Drive-thru is better than sit-down! A Sunday comic artist is smarter than a graphic novelist!
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| What I'm saying is, speed is the gold standard of the standard world.
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| Which is why I said I need that pick-me-up!
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| (Meanwhile, 0.000002 seconds later...)
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| Monokuma Theater 4
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| Imagine you're all in a big spaceship, in the middle of an intergalactic adventure.
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| You've heard of Noah's Ark, right? We're sort of like that. We've set sail and left Earth behind!
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| Here you don't have to worry about crazy neighbors, corrupt cops, drunk drivers, or pyromaniacs!
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| You don't have to worry about the ozone layer, or the asthma-inducing air pollution!
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| And of course, you don't have to stress about studying for finals or practicing for the big game! But...
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| But even our divine world of freedom has a few rules.
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| After all, freedom can only exist *because* of rules.
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| If you're really dead set on returning to that tiny piece of dog poop you call Earth...
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| ...please do your best to follow the rules. I hope I've made myself perfectly clear.
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| So then, let's everyone do our best to follow these new guidelines and live happily ever after together!
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| Monokuma Theater 5
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| Mr. Monokuma... Mr. Monokuma, do you have a second?
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| I...I don't really like myself. I don't really have any skill or hobby I can say I'm super good at...
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| And my grades are totally average too. My reflexes are okay. Not great, not awful.
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| I could get into a decent college, where I'd make a few friends. Maybe even find a normal girlfriend...
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| Which is exactly why I don't like who I am!
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| I understand that now!
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| My life is just one giant copy-paste!
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| I don't have any imagination! I'm a perfectly average cardboard cutout!
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| You see what I mean, right Mr. Monokuma!?
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| Monokuma Theater 6
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| Whenever I spot a cute girl, I have a tendency to stare.
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| I can't help it-I just gaze with intensity.
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| The other day, I rode my bike to the train station...
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| I was in the bathroom, just looking at myself in the mirror...
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| Monokuma Theater 7
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| If fate does exist...
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| Does that mean your future is decided the moment you're born?
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| If all your yesterdays pile up to create your tomorrow...
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| Is your future as final as your past?
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| I just don't know.
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| That's why I'm still alive-because I don't know. That's why I desperately cling to life!
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| Monokuma Theater 8
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| Hey, do you have a second? I wanna confide in you...
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| It's about the prevailing world attitude right now.
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| The difference between passive and active. I mean...
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| For example, it's the difference between like, "Oops! I killed him," and, "Yeah that's right. I killed him."
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| Amazingly, there are tons of people who don't understand the difference. Can you believe it!?
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| But there's a HUGE difference between "Oops!" and "That's right." You know what I'm saying, right?
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| Anyone can kill someone in the heat of the moment. But surprisingly few can do it with calculated intent.
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| To make that choice, then put it into action, it's way harder than just letting your emotions lead you.
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| It's all about preparation. Resolve.
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| So maybe you're wondering, what's the point I'm trying to make?
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| Well, I'm not totally sure myself. Maybe you should try reading between the lines.
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| Monokuma Theater 9
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| Little kids have it so easy...
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| Cuz they can put Li'l in front of their name, and right off the bat everyone thinks they're cute!
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| Well fine then! I want everyone to start calling me Li'l Monokuma!
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| See? Just by adding that, my cuteness goes up by at least like, 10%. Right?
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| Yeah, the world doesn't have nearly enough "Li'l"s!
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| More "Li'l"s would lead to the salvation of the world!
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| Just imagine... "Li'l Arsonist," "Li'l War Criminal," "Li'l Destruction of the Environment"...!
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| "Li'l Hit and Run," "Li'l Death Tax," "Li'l Great Depression"!
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| Even the darkest subject can suddenly become brighter!
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| Our dreams are expanding-ding-ding!
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| Monokuma Theater 10
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| You wanna know why I hate video games?
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| You might not believe this, but I had a best friend once.
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| Actually, he was my *only* friend. But unlike me, he had all kinds of friends.
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| So me and him were at his house one day, when a big group of guys showed up to hang out.
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| They'd just bought the latest big-budget video game.
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| They sat there lost in the game, passing the controller back and forth, for hours.
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| But not me...
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| I just sat there watching. That's right, I just watched! What's wrong with that!? I didn't care!
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| Just by watching, I was able to nail down all the best strategies!
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| Even though I never actually played it!
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| And I don't plan on ever playing it in the future, either!
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| Monokuma Theater 11
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| Happy New Day!
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| I'm the kinda guy, I don't want to celebrate a new year. I wanna celebrate the dawn of every new day!
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| Because every new day deserves celebrating! So...
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| Once again, happy New Day!
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| Monokuma Theater 12
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| "Murder" is a word whose definition changes with time, with place, with society.
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| If murder is evidence of abnormality, then all of history's greatest heroes must have been abnormal.
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| Sometimes the murders people forgive are far more abnormal than the ones they don't!
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| Monokuma Theater 13
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| Let's talk a bit about where I was at before I became a bear.
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| At first, I was at a total loss.
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| I just had no idea what I should become!
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| A lady in our tech support department suggested I try being a shrimp. She was like...
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| "Oh, the company's been trying to push this forever! It's a really incredible offer!"
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| But as she laid out all the details, it turned out...
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| ...it wasn't a tiger prawn like I'd hoped, but a little popcorn shrimp!
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| That's totally tiny! I would've been the world's smallest mascot!
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| I like EATING shrimp, I didn't wanna be one myself! Plus someone might come along and step on me...
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| So then the lady totally started laughing at me!
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| She was like, "You think we can do a tiger prawn on *our* budget?"
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| So ultimately, I decided to become a bear instead.
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| And that's the secret origin story of Monokuma...
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| Monokuma Theater 14
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| As long as you're human, there will always come a point where you wish you could do things differently.
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| Even a baseball player in the major leagues...
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| Even a soccer player touring Europe...
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| Even a famous singer who started her career as a backup dancer on a sketch comedy show...
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| She makes a brilliant debut, but instead of going for more, she marries some third-rate actor and retires.
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| Every human has regrets, has things they'd like to go back and change.
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| But I don't! Cuz I'm a bear.
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| Monokuma Theater 15
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| After I refused to become a shrimp, the tech support lady just refused to drop the issue.
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| Once the shrimp idea was dead, she came back suggesting I should become a crab instead.
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| How much can one person love crustaceans!?
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| I said no, of course, and she shot back...
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| "Okay, then how about to make you extra special, you can be a crab that walks sideways AND backwards!"
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| But how's that any better!? I don't wanna go sideways or backwards! I wanna go FORWARD!
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| I heard her annoyed sigh on the other end of the line, then she said...
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| "You just don't see the splendor of the crab. Haven't you ever heard of The Tale of the Crab and the Monkey?"
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| Of course I've heard of it! I know all about it! But so what!?
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| The crab beats the monkey, but it's just some legend. Hardly relevant to our greed-obsessed modern society!
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| Sure, *monkeys* still show up in movies and stuff from time to time, but not crabs!
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| Monkey-themed clothes are sweeping the fashion world, but the crab doesn't stand a chance, right?
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| What I'm saying is, crabs have no place in today's light-speed world! Do your market research, lady!
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| Which is why I chose the always-popular bear image.
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| And that's the secret origin story of Monokuma...
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| Monokuma Theater 16
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| Monokuma Theater, brought to you by Spike Chunsoft Co., Ltd.
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| (What follows is a video of Sakura Ogami fighting off hoards of enemies, before preparing to face off against an extremely large Monokuma. The screen then displays the text "Sakura's Revenge-the game the world has been waiting for! Unfortunately, development has been cancelled... Of course, if enough people buy Danganronpa, who knows? So go buy copies for you and all your friends! ...Puhuhu. (Hope's Peak Academy School Store: TGS Branch).)
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| Hmm? This super stylish, super fashionable game was canceled during development?
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| But it'll start back up again if Danganronpa sells well?
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| Then you guys have to recommend it to your friends, too!
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| Monokuma Theater 17
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| Every day is peaceful. Every day is joyful. Happy days from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep.
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| Wishing only for those unchanging, unending happy days, days of boredom repeating forever and ever.
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| No abnormalities as far as the eyes can see. Life without the tiniest speck of abnormality...
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| If the world were like that, I'd consider *that* pretty damn abnormal.
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| Monokuma Theater 1
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| Ahem...
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| To those of you who purchased "Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair"...
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| Thank you very much.
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| To those of you who are borrowing "Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair" from a friend...
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| You always risk losing friends when you borrow their things, so you should buy your own copy just to be safe.
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| Now then, it's been a while since the main story started...
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| So I'll give the keynote address right now!
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| From now on, I promise you'll be charmed by this world! It genuinely deserves to be called a true game!
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| So...make sure you get excited, and immerse yourself in the heart-throbbing action to your heart's content!
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| Now then, until the very end, please enjoy this game to the fullest.
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| Monokuma Theater 2
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| They say, "Impossible is a word that's only found in a fool's dictionary"...
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| ...there's still room for a little laughter.
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| Obviously, it's impossible to use a word that's not in your dictionary.
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| If someone can actually make the impossible possible...
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| You can truly call that person someone who doesn't have the impossible!
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| Monokuma Theater 3
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| My least favorite food is definitely crab.
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| I also don't like shrimp, apples, tomatoes, and seasoned trout eggs.
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| I don't like red foods at all.
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| Red foods are red because they have crab inside of them.
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| It's actually a conspiracy by the crab industry to try to make me overcome my disgust!
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| There's no way I'd fall for that! I will never, ever eat red foods!
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| You seeeee, our society is filled with various hidden conspiracies that are closer than you might think.
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| Make sure you guys be careful, too.
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| Monokuma Theater 4
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| You don't know how tough it is to be successful.
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| I'm so jealous of people who aren't successful and don't have anything.
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| The biggest obstacle to challenging new things is definitely your past successes.
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| Those always hold me back, all the time.
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| I'm so jealous of people who don't have anything. People with no expectations sure are happy.
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| I mean, they can do anything they want without worrying about anything.
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| Man, being successful is tough!
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| Monokuma Theater 5
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| Life isn't just about moving forward.
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| When confronted by an important question, it's good to stop moving and take your time thinking about it.
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| For example...my stomach hasn't felt well all morning, so I ran to the restroom as soon as I got off the train.
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| But right when I was about to enter, an important question stood before me.
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| Life is like that every now and then. Suddenly an important question gets in your way.
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| The important question stood before me was the "Gentlemen" sign on the restroom door...
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| As I resisted the overwhelming urge to poop, I thought about it desperately.
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| Am I...really a gentleman?
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| Do I have class? Am I honest? Am I faithful?
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| No... Why am I even hesitating!? Of course I'm a gentleman!
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| A regular person wouldn't last five minutes resisting this urge to poop, but a gentleman most certainly would!
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| Filled with pride, I ran into the restroom meant for gentlemen, and what awaited me was...
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| Another important question.
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| The important question that stood before me was the "Western Style" and "Japanese Style" signs on each door.
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| I was definitely born in Japan...but haven't I forgotten what makes clean, beautiful Japan so good?
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| Do I have enough confidence in myself to take a "Japanese Style" poop?
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| ...As you can see, there are always important questions waiting for you.
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| That's what life is all about.
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| Monokuma Theater 6
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| Huh!? You admire superheroes?
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| Don't you understand what superheroes are like?
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| Superheroes live to stop people from achieving their hopes and dreams, y'know?
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| They immediately attack people in groups because they don't have many friends themselves, y'know?
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| They're all short-tempered and say stuff like, "Now I'm mad!" and "I won't forgive you!" and laugh, y'know?
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| They're lazy people who'll run away once the other guy starts fighting back, y'know?
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| They're willing to use weapons even if they're fighting someone who is alone or unarmed, y'know?
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| They're always the winner, so they don't know what it's like to have a weakling's worries, y'know?
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| And they like to wear flashy costumes, y'know?
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| Which means they're all a bunch of smart, good-looking, violent, stubborn elitists who don't have many friends.
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| Do you really wanna admire people like that?
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| Monokuma Theater 7
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| It's a waste of time to constantly worry about things.
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| Well, if you really wanna waste time that badly, I won't stop you.
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| I'm not saying that killing meaningless time is bad or anything.
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| I mean, even happy times, sad times, painful times, fun times, times you want to remember or want to forget...
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| They all end up becoming nostalgic memories eventually.
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| So...isn't killing time by worrying about things an effective way of dealing with that worry?
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| Puhuhu, do your best at worrying about things and killing time.
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| Monokuma Theater 8
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| Monokuma's Super Fables - Story 58: "A Tengu Came Down From The Mountains!"
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| A long time ago, there was a village that was afraid of tengus showing up...
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| The tengus apparently did as they pleased, such as stealing food and kidnapping women...
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| But...is it really the tengus' fault?
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| Isn't it actually the humans' fault for ruining nature by destroying the mountains where the tengus lived?
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| You think monsters are scary!? It's humans that are the scary ones!
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| Everyone! Now is the time to rise up against the humans!
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| We must protect nature from the humans and return the world to a peaceful place where monsters roam free!
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| Monokuma's Super Fables - The End
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| Monokuma Theater 9
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| Good evening. It's time for Monokuma's cooking class.
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| Today we're gonna learn how to make taiyaki. The first thing you'll need is...
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| ...a time machine.
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| We will travel back in time to the Meiji period and meet a person named Seijiro Kanbe.
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| He used to bake and sell turtle-shaped pastries, but unfortunately they never sold all that well.
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| It's important that you gently cheer him up because he's gonna be disappointed in himself when you meet him.
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| From there, get serious and insist that he try making his pastries fish-shaped because they'll sell better.
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| Once that happens, he'll happily bake his pastries in the shape of a fish.
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| And as a final touch, name these pastries "taiyaki"...
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| Okay! With this, you've finished making taiyaki!
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| This concludes Monokuma's cooking class.
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| Monokuma Theater 10
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| Did you know that talking about a personal failure is a good way to break the ice when meeting new people?
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| Sooooo I'm gonna tell you my story of personal failure.
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| In the wild world I live in, popularity is a symbol of power.
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| That's why I decided to write a fake love letter to myself, so I could brag about it to others.
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| I was bragging about it to my friend, but unfortunately all I had was an envelope.
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| When my friend wanted me to show him the unwritten letter, I was in a real bind...
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| So I showed him a blank piece of paper and said this:
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| "This letter was written with special ink! Only those chosen by God can see it!"
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| Puhuhu... When I said that, he was all, "That love letter is brimming with passion!"
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| However...things started looking bad at that point.
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| The other people around us started praising him because they thought he really could read the letter.
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| That's when he started hogging everyone's attention as a divine messenger of God...
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| And eventually, he was worshipped by society!
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| Now...he uses his followers to sell shady vases for a quick buck.
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| Thanks to my big mouth, he became a multimillionaire! How regretful! What an epic fail!
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| That was my story of personal failure. What did you think of it? Is the ice broken?
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| Since you listened to me...wanna buy this vase?
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| It's in pretty high demand...but I'll give you a deal on it cuz I like you so much!
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| Monokuma Theater 11
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| -... . / ... ..- .-. .
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| - --- / -.. .-. .. -. -.-
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| -.-- --- ..- .-.
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| -.- ..- -- .- - .. -. .
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| This concludes the Monokuma Theater: Morse Code Edition.
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| Monokuma Theater 12
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| Today, I interviewed random strangers on the street and asked them, "What do you hate about Monokuma?"
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| Here are the results!
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| "He has a foul mouth, a terrible personality, and he's a rude pig...but he's still popular despite all that."
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| "He's a lazy ass who doesn't work hard at all, and yet he's more skilled and better than people who do."
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| "Not only did God give him both hands, God gave him everything."
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| "He always talks crap about others, but nodody really talks crap about him."
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| "That he's willing to die to protect the woman he loves."
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| "That he can't live without me."
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| "He's usually cold toward me, but he takes good care of me when I'm sick."
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| "He always slaps me around when he drinks, but afterward he cries and gently hugs me."
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| "I hate that his job changes every time he gets a new job."
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| "He's extremely responsive when other people say things like, 'drinks', 'group dates', and 'promotions'."
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| "I hate that my daughter suddenly got curvier after she enrolled in middle school."
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| Those were the results!
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| Aw, I'm so loved! I don't think I'll belong to one person for a while!
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| Monokuma Theater 13
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| I had been gaming all night until the wee hours of the morning when I decided to go to the convenience store...
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| There, I saw some guy with good looks, fancy clothes, nice shoes, and a shiny expensive car...
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| Tch... There's no way a guy like that actually exists...
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| He really lives in a rundown apartment, and all he has is his pride cuz he doesn't have a stable job or money...
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| But he wants to show off so much that he's forcing himself to do that...
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| From morning till noon, he carries around boxes and furniture for his moving job...
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| And at night, he works at a bar and serves big mugs of beer!
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| But even with that, he still doesn't have enough money so he sponges off his parents back home!
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| As that fantasy played in my mind in front of the convenience store, I started to feel bad.
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| ...About myself.
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| Monokuma Theater 14
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| Words are extremely dangerous.
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| Unlike letters, words cannot be undone with erasers or with a backspace.
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| That's why you need to be extremely careful.
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| Same goes for me. There was a time in my past when I went through a lot of trouble cuz of that...
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| That's right...when I was being trained at the safari park...
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| At the time, there were two animals at the park that I got along with.
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| One was a squirrel named Sr. Dietrich, and the other was a fox named Chacha Jr.
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| To be honest, Chacha Jr. was really stupid...
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| If a female employee tried to have a serious talk with him, he'd just stare at her boobs the whole time.
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| That's why Sr. Dietrich would order him to steal panties.
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| And that idiot would get real happy when he exchanged the panties he stole for Dietrich's old undies.
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| Also, this one time...
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| The three of us went to a steakhouse, and the waiter asked, "How would you like it cooked?"
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| Chacha Jr. proudly said, "With fire!"
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| Sr. Dietrich was pretty crafty, he knew how to play Chacha Jr.
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| He made Chacha Jr. abduct a fawn and drown it, then he saved that drowning fawn himself...
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| And he made Chacha Jr. tell everyone about it. Man, he really did some shady things.
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| Anyway...the three of us were getting along together. We were living a fun life in the safari park.
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| That's right... until the day I ended up saying *those* words.
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| I accidentally said this to Chacha Jr.
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| "Foxes are squirrels' natural enemies."
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| The next day, I stumbled across what was left of Dietrich Sr. He had been eaten.
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| Good thing I immediately tattled to a male employee so he could put down Chacha Jr. with a hunting rifle...
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| Even now, I regret saying what I said back then.
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| Jeez... Squirrels have it rough. They have so many natural enemies.
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| Monokuma Theater 15
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| My motto is to do a good deed every day.
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| When I was at a bar and shouted, "Can I get a Sam!", the female bartender happily answered, "Sure thing!"
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| It makes me so happy when someone else is this happy! Doing a good deed every day is awesome!
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| But inside...
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| That woman probably thought I was a loser for sitting alone at a cheap bar in the middle of the night.
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| Dammit! I can't keep up with this crap! Hey sweetcheeks, gimme another Sam!
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| Huuuh!? Not a Sam Adams! I'm obviously talking about raw salmon!
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| And here's some good news for you!
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| I have imbued the smell of vanilla into the Monokuma plushies.
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| It's effective aromatherapy, and it'll definitely calm everyone's nerves if they're agitated.
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| Available in the near future!
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| That's it for Monokuma's Shopping Corner.
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| Monokuma Theater 16
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| I think giving up is really important.
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| If you don't give up on your dreams, they'll come true. That's just irresponsible and lazy encouragement.
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| No matter how much you try without giving up, it's useless in the end.
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| Persistence is just the worst. That's why giving up is so important.
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| But...you can't give up if you don't even try.
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| That's actually the worst of all.
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| Monokuma Theater 17
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| Everything is a lie.
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| Monokuma doesn't exist.
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| The Monokuma Theater doesn't exist.
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| Everything is fiction.
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| There's no meaning whatsoever.
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| There's no relationship whatsoever.
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| Everything was made.
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| Monokuma can't be found anywhere.
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| What are you doing here anyway?
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| Monokuma Theater 18
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| H3y, h0W R U d01n? dId U N-j0y ThE Ki11INg sk0oL tRip?
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| bY tH3 wAy, d0 U guY$ RemEbR tHe spEEch I M@dE aT ThE BeGinnInG?
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| frOm tH1s p01nT on, I pR0mIsE U a W0RLD tHat tRuLy deSeRVes 2 b caLld A GaMe...
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| Pu-HU-Hu, U gAiz R tHe oNly 1s wATchInG tH1s wH0 can...$@ve tHem.
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| thE eND 0f tH3 w0R1d iz nIgH! WhaTch@ goNNa do!? WhaT's g0nn@ haPPen!?
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| IsN't 1t x-cIting? iSn'T iT hE@rT-THrobdInG?
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| L00k f0Rw@rd 2 iT!
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| Pu-H00-Hu-hU-Ho0-Hu-HoO-h0o-hU-HU!
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| Monokuma Theater 1
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| New students of the Ultimate Academy! Congratulations!
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| The weeds here have grown thick with joy, as if celebrating your entrance into this school.
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| Seeing your anxious eyes shine with murderous intent makes me oh-so happy.
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| If you ever feel lost, don't be shy-talk to your friends or a teacher. Let's all get along.
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| And...let's do lots of killing, too.
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| I pray for the physical and mental welll-being of this new killing school semester-
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| I mean...I pray for the well-being of you students. Yes, that will do...
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| Monokuma Theater 2
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|
| Wow, we're already out of material. Like closing time at a sushi restaurant.
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| When a series lasts for several seasons, eventually it'll run out of material.
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| My memory has been awful lately. I wonder if it's cuz of how long the series has been going.
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| Wait...what season are we on again? What material have we shown so far?
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| Geez, I don't remember. Maybe it's cuz they've released so many at this point.
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| Oh well! Anyway, we need new material for the Monokuma Theater!
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| Please send your manuscripts, along with a 1,000 dollar application fee!
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| If your entry is selected, you will receive a 100 dollar gift card!
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| What a generous prize! Don't miss this opportunity! Send your applications today!
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| Monokuma Theater 3
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|
| I'll teach you guys how to win over a lady.
|
| First, you gotta give her a present. Ladies can't resist presents.
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| But you can't give her any present. It's gotta be a present suited to her tastes.
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| And it's gotta be a handmade present, too. So it looks like you put thought into it.
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| For example, the kinda lady who's into strong men would love a handmade...
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| pro wrestling group.
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| She'll love bein' surrounded by macho dudes, and you'll make money off the wrestlers, too!
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| If enough wrestlers get popular, then it might be good to host a big event.
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| And after they're done beating up each other, they can fight other pro wrestiling groups!
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| Just give it a shot, and I'm positive you'll win her heart!
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| Monokuma Theater 4
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|
| I hear kids these days don't even say "thank you" anymore.
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| I blame the parents! They haven't properly taught them the true meaning of "thank you"!
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| It's very important to express gratitude to someone who has done something for you.
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| It will make that person feel happy, and they might do something special for you later.
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| In other words, "thank you" isn't just about conveying gratitude...
|
| ...it also conveys the expectation of a favor in the future.
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| So the more you say "thank you," the more you can use the people around you.
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| So always say "thank you" to people, and make them do lots of stuff for your benefit!
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| Monokuma Theater 5
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|
| College entrance exams are a big milestone. on par with finding a job or getting married.
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| Are you examinees out there working hard!? When studying, focus is the most important!
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| Boost your focus by throwing away all those comic books and video games!
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| Oh, but Spike Chunsoft games are fine. They're specially made to improve your focus.
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| And burn those pictures of your girlfriend! You don't have time to indulge in good memories!
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| But make sure you don't burn your actual girlfriend, cuz you'll go to prison for that!
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| Prison might help you focus, but then you wouldn't be able to go to your exams!
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| If you can't focus at all, it's also good to confine yourself somewhere and study!
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| I recommend confining yourself in an enemy's base!
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| The thrill of studying in a place where you might get caught does wonders for your focus!
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| Oh, and I also recommend studying in a disaster zone.
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| The thrill of studying in a place where you could actually die does wonders for your focus.
|
| Oh, and I also recommend studying in the middle of your exams.
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| The thrill of knowing it's too late to get any studying done does wonders for your focus.
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| With my advice, you'll beat the competition! So get out there and do your best!
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| Monokuma Theater 6
|
|
| ...
|
| What are you looking at? Who...are you guys?
|
| You're probably thinking, "This killing game is taking forever. Someone just die already."
|
| That is what you're thinking, right? Man, you guys are messed up.
|
| But I feel the same way, too. Geez, why won't someone just die?
|
| Watching people live and die is really the best entertainment.
|
| Some people say, "What do you think life is?" Honestly, life is worthless.
|
| When you die, you are quickly forgotten cuz there's tons of replacements out there.
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| But if you die in a death game, everyone knows who you are. That itself is a form of happiness.
|
| Puhuhu... Who will find happiness next? My heart's pounding with excitement.
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| Monokuma Theater 7
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|
| I need a miracle!
|
| ...You pray, right? While you're working, living, and gambling.
|
| But miracles happen every day.
|
| For example, do you know what the odds of the earth existing are?
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| The same as a tornado blowing through a junkyard and assembling a working car.
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| That's a miracle!
|
| That's why us being alive on earth is a miracle!
|
| All kinds of miracles happen every day. Life is made up of little miracles.
|
| But whenever a miracle does happen, it just gets chalked up as fate or destiny or whatever.
|
| Be grateful for the miracles that have already happened instead of hoping for new ones.
|
| If you do that, you should be able to enjoy miracles, right?
|
| Monodam Theater 1
|
|
| ...
|
| ...CURIOUS?
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| ...CURIOUS-WHAT-WE-MONOKUBS-DO-WHEN-YOU'RE-NOT-AROUND?
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| I'LL-TELL-YOU.
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| WE-LISTEN-TO-FOREIGN-MUSIC-AND-LAUGH-AT-THE-FUNNY-SOUNDING-WORDS.
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| WHEN-WE-HEAR-WORDS-THAT-SOUND-PERVERTED, WE-GET-REALLY-EXCITED.
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| WE-ALSO-WEAR-PAJAMAS-ALL-DAY, AND-LOUNGE-IN-AN-AIR-CONDITIONED-ROOM...
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| AND-WHEN-WE-ALL-GO-OUT-TOGETHER, THEY-USUALLY-MAKE-ME-STEAL.
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| SEE? WE'RE-ALL-SUCH-GOOD-FRIENDS. WE'RE-ALWAYS-TOGETHER.
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| EXCEPT-WHEN-THEY-RUN-AWAY-WHEN-I-GET-CAUGHT-STEALING.
|
| Monodam Theater 2
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|
| WHAT-IS-THE-POINT-OF-HUMAN-LIFE?
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| THEY'RE-BORN-AS-USELESS-BABIES-WHO-CAN'T-DO-ANYTHING...
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| AND-70-YEARS-LATER, THEY'RE-USELESS-OLD-PEOPLE-WHO-CAN'T-DO-ANYTHING.
|
| HAIRLESS, TOOTHLESS, WEARING-DIAPERS... UNABLE-TO-TAKE-CARE-OF-THEMSELVES...
|
| IN-THE-END, IT'S-ALL-SO-MEANINGLESS.
|
| Monodam Theater 3
|
|
| IN-A-PAST-LIFE, I-WAS...A-FISH.
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| I-GREW-UP-IN-A-POND-IN-A-RURAL-TOWN, BUT...I-ALWAYS-DREAMED-OF-THE-CITY.
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| ONE-DAY, WHILE-MY-PARENTS-WERE-FEEDING...I-RAN-OFF-TO-THE-FISH.
|
| LUCKILY...I-WAS-CAUGHT-BY-A-RICH-PERSON-WHO-LET-ME-ATTEND-HUMAN-SCHOOL.
|
| BUT-THE-OTHER-KIDS-BULLIED-ME.
|
| THEY-BULLIED-ME-FOR...SILLY-REASONS.
|
| BECAUSE-OF-MY-ODOR...AND-BECAUSE-OF-HOW-I-WOULD-FLOP-AROUND-ON-MY-DESK.
|
| AND-BECAUSE-OF-THE-WAY-MY-MOUTH-OPENED-AND-CLOSED, AS-IF-I-WAS-DYING.
|
| THE-TRAUMA-OF-MY-PAST-LIFE...HAUNTS-ME-TO-THIS-DAY.
|
| THAT'S-WHY-I-CAN-NEVER-FORGIVE-BULLYING!
|
| I-SWEAR-ON-MY-PAST-LIFE-THAT-I-WILL-GET-ALONG-WITH-EVERYONE!
|
| Monokuma Theater 8
|
|
| Have you ever wondered why soccer players have numbers on their jerseys?
|
| It's how many mochi each player gets in the red bean soup they eat after the game.
|
| It's too much work for the guy who's making the soup to check each player after the game.
|
| It's much easier to check during the game when the number is on their uniforms.
|
| That way, they can just prepare red bean soup during the game...
|
| And then the red bean soup will be ready to eat as soon as the game is over.
|
| And if players want a different number of mochi, they can just trade jerseys with each other.
|
| You know how after the game, players will sometimes trade jerseys?
|
| That's how they exchange the number of mochi they have to eat after the game.
|
| Oh, but for baseball jerseys, the number is how many pieces of meat they get in their curry.
|
| And for volleyball, it's how many pieces of sliced pork they get in their ramen...
|
| As you can see, jersey numbers vary greatly depending on the sport.
|
| This has been the Random Trivia Corner, brought to you by Monokuma!
|
| Monokuma Theater 9
|
|
| You can trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you wanna watch out for...
|
| Cuz you can never predict when they're gonna do something...incredibly stupid.
|
| It's honestly easier to go through life without telling a single lie.
|
| Which means honest people are just lazy jerks who'd rather coast through life.
|
| By the way, the recent trend of encouraging honesty is actually a lie.
|
| You see, it's better for liars if there are more honest people in the world to deceive.
|
| They've been lying about that trend so there can be more stupid honest people.
|
| ...But that might be a lie, too. Puhuhuhuhu.
|
| Monokuma Theater 10
|
|
| Recklessness is a beautiful thing.
|
| It's so beautiful, I want to print the words "Reckless Beauty" on a t-shirt.
|
| Because recklessness is the stuff that dreams are made of.
|
| It's what makes you run at full speed, with no regard for your limitations.
|
| It's what makes you excited by anything.
|
| Some say it's foolish, but recklessness is what causes new events to unfold.
|
| So while you're still alive, live your life so recklessly that it makes you immortal.
|
| And if haters laugh at you, let them. They just don't appreciate reckless beauty like you do.
|
| Monokuma Theater 11
|
|
| Did you know that when you talk to someone on a cell phone, you're not hearing their real voice?
|
| Their voice is converted to synthetic sound while you're both communicating.
|
| By breaking down their voice into various waveform patterns...
|
| The phone reassembles those patterns to recreate characteristics of the speaker's voice.
|
| This reduces the amount of voice data that needs to be sent to make the call possible.
|
| Also, you know how shaved ice has flavored syrups such as strawberry, melon, and lemon?
|
| They're all the same flavor. The only difference is the aroma and the food coloring dye.
|
| Do you think these facts are lies? Do you deny that these facts are lies?
|
| Puhuhu. What would the world be like if all lies were denied outright?
|
| I bet it would be a very lonesome world. Lies are what make the world go 'round.
|
| Monokuma Theater 12
|
|
| If you're searching for the meaning of life, you're already doing it wrong.
|
| Your life doesn't need a meaning. It just needs a purpose.
|
| In other words, you just need something to live for.
|
| You can live for spending time with loved ones, or chasing dreams...
|
| You can even live for eating delicious food, or playing games...
|
| Most people can get by as long as they have something to live for.
|
| If you say Danganronpa is your reason to live, I couldn't be happier.
|
| Puhuhu... It's been a real pleasure doing business with you.
|
| Monokuma Theater 13
|
|
| ...Don't panic. Just stay calm and listen.
|
| Well, if you're watching this Monokuma Theater segment, it's already too late.
|
| You kids might not know, but to a 100% cotton mascot like me, hope is... Well...
|
| The thought of seeing young people brimming with hope, killing each other just to survive.
|
| Watching their hope fade away... There's nothing more despair-inducing than that...
|
| My dear students, carrying humanity's hope... Betraying, deceiving, and killing each other...
|
| It makes me...oh-so sad...
|
| Oh, how I long to see everyone's despairing faces, soaked in blood and tears..
|
| ...
|
| I've gone and done it.
|
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